It’s that time of year again when everybody’s mobile phones are blaring out not so subtle reminders that it’s Christmas Time again. So here is a plea. Choose your Christmas ringtones as wisely as those three Christmas Royals. In fact, it just might be worth trading in your old mobile phone so all evidence of uncool Christmas tunes are nowhere to be heard. But just in case you are one of the few who don’t know a rocking good Christmas bop from one that should be rocketed to Mars, here is a list of some of the worst Christmas songs ever to grate people’s ears over the festive period.
80 years of crossing the road and not so much a scratch until one Christmas night she gets run over by a reindeer. Would you credit it? Meant to be a light Christmas song, this certainly was a heavy one for poor old grandma on Christmas Eve who according to the lyrics, not only got knocked down by a reindeer but got the hoof marks on her forehead to prove it. It’s difficult to imagine people celebrating the good old Christmas cheer when such a picture has been created by this tragic tune. So let’s keep the family sweet this Christmas and avoid this ringtone like the proverbial plague!
Guess Who Is Coming To Town?
That’s right. From the very first few notes, we know Santa is on his way again. Every year we know Santa comes to town, so why do we need this song to remind us? But sure as eggs are eggs, or Christmas Puds are Christmas Puds, this ringtone will be making the rounds as certainly as Santa himself. Just make sure you are not one of the people who have it on their phone and if you are trading one in, make sure it’s been wiped so nobody will ever find out.
Oh, No, Those Twelve Days of Christmas
Oh, yes, here they are. And in true festive style, one of the most annoying yuletide ringtones will be flying across the airways. A feast for the ears, not, this song inspired a feast of another kind a few years ago when the Two Hairy Bikers created a meal centred around the song. So beware not to add this to your ringtone playlist, or you might get a visit from a pair of hairy bikers. And at this festive time, they’ll probably want a lot of feeding too.
Santa’s Big Helpers
We think Santa just wants cookies and milk at Christmas but with song tunes such as Santa Baby and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus ringing through the air, we might think Santa likes a touch more. So, don’t encourage him and don’t let these tunes make it on to your ringtone list. Remember you have got a clean slate after trading in your old mobile phone, so make sure you stay clear of these tunes or Santa might just get the wrong idea!
Jingle None Of The Way
As soon as you hear those first few notes, there is a loud groan within ear shot. Dashing through the snow is exactly what you should do if you hear this on somebody’s mobile phone. And don’t stop until you are miles away from civilization and then you won’t hear those bellowing bells ringing. They say a mobile phone is not just for Christmas and they are right, so make sure you choose a set of ringtones worthy of having a phone for quite a number of years.
Mistletoe and Whine
The groans are certainly out in force for this Christmas classic tune. No matter where you are, if you hear this tune illuminate somebody’s phone, head straight down to your local and forget all about it. It’s a classic that really should be forgotten in all senses of the word. And it will be after a few hours down at your local.
So there you have it, some of the worst Christmas tunes ever to be accompanied by music. Without a doubt, the airwaves will be jammed with all of these and many more over the Christmas period, but please, please, don’t add to the jam with more festive jingles on your mobile phone. In fact, this Christmas why not exchange your mobile phone for cash. Go and buy something non-festive. And when it’s all over, you can maybe buy another mobile phone and add the ringtones you like on it.
About the Author
Charles Barley hates a lot of Christmas jingles especially when it is coming from a mobile phone. This is why he suggests staying as far away from them as possible!